[DMCForum] Off Topic Humor: Things to say when stressed at work
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[DMCForum] Off Topic Humor: Things to say when stressed at work




Subject: Things to say when stressed at work.........


1. I can  see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know  what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about  never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special  time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along  with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if  you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a  message..

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds  like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ah--I see  the screw-up fairy has visited you again...

11. I like you. You remind me  of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent  mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just  don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your  mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about  you.

16. Thank you. Now, we're all refreshed and challenged by your  unique point
of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't  mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine  is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20.  I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job,  but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. And your crybaby whiny-butt  opinion would be...?

23. Do I look like a people person?

24.  This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

25. I started  out with nothing & still have most of it left.

26. Sarcasm is just  one more service I offer.

27. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 

28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

29. Whatever  kind of look you were going for, you missed.

30. I'm trying to imagine  you with a personality.

31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a  door.

32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

33. Too  many freaks, not enough circuses.

34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in  it?

35. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

36.  How do I set a laser printer to stun?

37. I thought I wanted a career,  turns out I just wanted pay checks.
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