RE: [DMCForum] unmoderated user

["Dave Stragand" <dave.stragand@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

The Bill of No Rights

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone
get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of
debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren,
hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, and delusional. 

We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people were
confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No
Rights. 

ARTICLE I
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of
wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything. 

ARTICLE II
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for everyone, not just you. You may leave
the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world
is full of idiots and probably always will be. 

ARTICLE III
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver
in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer
to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy. 

ARTICLE IV
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most
charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need. But we
are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generations of professional couch
potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes. 

ARTICLE V
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from
the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in government-run
health care. 

ARTICLE VI
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap,
rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of
us want to see you fry in the electric chair. 

ARTICLE VII
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat,
or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised
if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still
won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure. 

ARTICLE VIII
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in
foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd
like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to
spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a
military uniform and a funny hat. 

ARTICLE IX
You don't have the right to a job. All of us want all of you to have one,
and will gladly help you along in hard times. But we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid
before you to make yourself useful. 

ARTICLE X
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you
have the right to pursue happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if
you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of
you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

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