[DML] State of Our Cars Poll? BRING IT BABY!
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[DML] State of Our Cars Poll? BRING IT BABY!

A clear June sunrise glints across bare stainless as you slip the iPad into your passenger seat. Its memory is full of the audio books you'll need to get you through the long drive ahead.

You hit the starter and 150 horses surge to life. Of course 20 of your aluminum stallions are choked to death by emissions controls before their reach your gearbox. As Emile Peugeot would say, C'est la vie!

You've driven your DeLorean all of Ken Koncelik's DeLorean Car Shows except the one in your home town. The Cleveland show was just seven miles from your front door, too close, so you drove your minivan that year.

Today you'll drive from Cleveland to Raleigh, 575 miles plus a little sight-seeing and visiting. Then you're off to Orlando, another 600 miles. After the Car Show you'll do it all backwards in Nike high tops 'cause that's how you roll.

On the trip your 31-year-old DeLorean has a couple of minor electrical bugs, but nothing you can't handle. Thank Jobs your iPad never gives out and you get to hear the end of _Triggers_, the latest thriller by Robert J. Sawyer.

That trip is just the beginning of your 2012 DeLorean adventures. Your DeLorean purrs on, as reliable as she is beautiful, delighting ten-year-old boys at every barbershop and gas station you visit that summer. You never once hesitate to take her anywhere, confident that "Car Doc" Dave Baurele gave her a clean bill of health. She appears on local television with you and national television without you, never showing a whimper of trouble.

And as you write this you are thinking excitedly about the splash your DeLorean will make at the James Bond themed party you're invited to next week. Oh yes, you are living the dream.

You are Mike Substelny.
Owner of VIN 1280.

Because any nincompoop can write about himself in third person, past tense.


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