[DML] Ode To My DeLorean
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[DML] Ode To My DeLorean

Ode To My DeLorean
I've owned a DeLorean for six years, February 2001 to February 2007 
and it hasn't been a smooth ride all the time.  But, I'm 
still, "Living The Dream."
Here is a comparison of my experiences of DeLorean ownership with 
the song by Adam Sandler called Ode To My Car.  If you've heard this 
song before then you'll get the humor in it.

Here we go
Piece of s*** car
I gotta piece of s*** car
The f****** pile of s*** never gets me very far

Actually my DeLorean gets me around just fine.  Except for the three 
times it broke down.  The first was wiring burned completely through 
at the Inertia Switch this stranded me along Interstate 5 at 1:00 am 
in December and fortunately just 11 miles to get towed home.  Second 
time, several years later, was wiring burned through at the Inertia 
Switch at 7:00 am on my way to the mechanics shop to figure out why 
my D wouldn't pass emissions.  I took two buses to get home.  
Returned the next day on a bus with some wire strippers and 
connected the black with the black/pink wire and drove home.  Last 
summer broke down five miles from home while at the video store at 9 
pm.  I tried what I could for an hour.  No luck.  Had the D towed 
home.  It turns out to be a hot start problem.  All I had to do was 
disconnect the grey plug from the Control Pressure Regulator and 
connect it to the Cold Start Injector.  This shoots a bunch of fuel 
into the engine and gets it started.  Disconnect grey plug from 
injector and reconnect to CPR immediately after starting or you'll 
flood the engine.

My cars a big pile of s*** cuz the shocks are f****** shot.

True.  When I bought my D in 2001 the shocks were original and 
leaking and the ride was rough.  Replaced with PJ Grady's four 
shocks and front springs kit.  Love `em.

And my seat belts f****** broken.  I got to tie it in a knot.

Removed my interior panels covering the rear speakers and seat 
belt retractors.  I let the driver's side seat belt retract all the 
way in.  Big mistake!  I couldn't get the belt back out again.  Took 
the belt apart and the spring sprung and couldn't put it back 
together.  Bought a replacement.  Then years later threw the broken 
one away.

I can't see through the windshield cuz its got a big f****** crack.

Mine has a crack right down the middle from top center to bottom 
center.  Caused by gluing the rearview mirror to the inside sheet of 
glass.  You can feel the crack on the inside and not on the outside.

And the interior smells real bad cuz my friend puked in the back.

Actually no one puked in my D but I did find water underneath the 
driver and passenger side carpeting and water in the battery 
compartment and cubby lock box behind driver's seat.  Eventually 
found the major leaks but it's the little ones that perplex me.  
Leave standing water in long enough and it gets kind of a musty odor.

It's got no CD player, it only got the eight track.

DeLoreans came with an AM/FM digital display cassette player.  My 
cassette player worked most of the time.  Sometimes it didn't want 
to play.  Put it in the closet.  And bought a new CD player.

Whoever design my car, can lick my sweaty n** sack.

I love the design of the DeLorean.  I wouldn't change a thing!

And it got no f****** brakes, I'm always out of control.

Brakes worked okay, at first.  Sometime later I had to replace the 
brake master cylinder since the pedal was getting mushy.  Also had 
to replace both front brake rotors.  Got a shimmy in the steering 
wheel when applying the brake.

Eleven times a day, I hear, "Watch it a**hole!"

Really, I get a lot of positive comments about the D.  About 99 out 
of 100 are from guys.  Wish ladies had more interest in cars.

Well the engine likes to flood, the car always f****** stalls.

My engine only stalls when I don't give it enough gas when letting 
up on the clutch pedal.  It also always runs rich and was borderline 
at passing/not passing emmissions.

And the seat cushion gotta big rip, so a spring always pokes the 

My leather seats are cracked and splitting open and need new black 
leather skins.

Plus the door locks are busted.  I gotta use a f****** coat hanger.

The door locks work.  It's just that they never seem to want to work 
in unison.  No matter how many times I've adjusted them.

The f***er she sees my car, there no chance I'll ever ba** her.

Still wish ladies had more interest in cars.

Ooooh f****** tires.

Bridgestone Potenzas were on my D when I bought it.  When it came 
time to replace them they don't make the rear size anymore.  Not a 
lot of choices out there.  Unless you don't mind mixing and matching 
makes and models of tires.

No rear view f****** mirror.

Got the rear view mirror permanently glued to the windshield as said 
before.  It's never coming off.  It's the electric side view mirrors 
I'm having issues with.  Most of the time they don't move 
(function).  On a rare occasion they do work.  Went through the 
wiring in the doors and roof section.  Still can't get them to 
work.  Yes, I already replaced the multi-directional switch.

73 colors.

Silver 304 grade stainless steel baby!  The front and rear facias 
need to be stripped and repainted.

F****** rag for a gas cap.

Got the early two key (one is for door lock, the other is for 
ignition and locking gas cap) DeLorean.  The locking gas cap works 
but there are no locking gas cap replacements available if it ever 
should stop working.

Tail pipe makin' sparks fly everywhere.

Tailpipe doesn't shoot sparks but, people standing behind my D can 
smell the rich fuel/air mixture.  Gotta fix that.

The whole town thinks I'm a loser.

My friends don't think I'm a loser they just don't understand why I 
spend so much money on my D.

Cabby give me a push.

Mark R. Vanyo
Thanks for reading.

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