[humor] Where/when is my car?

["Walter" <Whalt@xxxx>]

I lost my DeLorean in a parking lot today. You would think that a DeLorean
would be hard to loose. (Once a guy suggested that I just forget about
parking it and instead keep it in my back pocket.) Anyway, I couldn't find
where I parked my car. Then remembering that it is a time machine, it isn't
WHERE the car is but WHEN it is. So I turn around and check where I had
already looked, and there it was peeking around the side of a large SUV with
it's nose close to the ground just like a puppy playing hide & seek.

Someone today asked me if I keep the car garage kept considering how great
it looks. My answer for him was that it's a time machine. When no one sees
it, it just keeps hyper-jumping through time while a resident subroutine
searches for human consciousness. When sensed, the car re-appears in the
flash of an eye. So why did the subroutine previously not work? Well, it
looks for HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS. I don't always qualify for both at any given
moment. I think it's a trait acquired from stray flux dispersal from being
inside the car too much. Sometimes the car hyper-jumps forward in time
while I am still in it. That explains how I sometimes don't remember
driving it home or even waking up in the car the next morning and wondering
where I was all night.

I even did an experiment to confirm this. Once I accidentally left my
lights on for a really long time. When I got back, the car started just
fine as though it had only been sitting for a few minutes. Warning: don't
try this yourself without a set of jumper cables handy.

I've pretty much figured out what is going on now. A future owner
retro-fitted my car with a time machine option (TMO). He is making sure
that my car will be in like new condition when he gets it. So that is the
reason my car keeps hyper-jumping into the future. Well, I got news for
this future owner. He's going to have to wait a long time 'cuz I'm not
through owning it yet.

Yep, I'm weird, but so is my car. (I think I've said too much.)

Walt Tampa, FL